Linda Tirado (@KillerMartinis): I think I would like to talk about fear.
I see lots of people - people I respect, people I think are full of shit, people I don’t know - talking about how they are afraid.
And you know what? That is an emotion one feels. Usually, often, because of what one has experienced.
It is worth noting that we are living through one of those times in human history where everything is fear, where fear is being sold to us as the only rational thing to feel.
People are buying body armor. Terrorists are disrupting childrens’ storybook times. All the guns.
Fear is often the only rational way to feel. Fear keeps you safe, makes you wary, makes you distrustful. When shit gets dangerous, it makes perfect sense that you wouldn’t trust much. It might be tainted.
Fear is how you survive, or rather the behaviors that are prompted by it.
What is notable to me is how it seems to be everyone now
We’ve always had underclasses. We’ve always had a society in which people of one skin color didn’t need to fear as much as people of other skin colors.
When we have said things were ok, we only ever meant for some folks
You hear a lot about how boomers bought a house in 1972 for two pennies and the minimum wage was five dollars an hour
But you never really hear much about what color those people were that were allowed to do that
So I want to talk about the mainstreaming of fear.
Now, it’s a thing everyone talks about, and it just wasn’t before
Sure, it’s Trump. Sure, it’s the breakdown of society. Sure, it’s this or that or the other.
But mostly, it’s “the other.”
Those people who didn’t have to be afraid before, the folks who are experiencing fear for perhaps the first time?
That feeling is valid, that’s your gut instinct telling you things aren’t good and you might be next.
That’s you surviving.
Only.
It is worth noting that your fear is unhelpful. When you are afraid you have two choices: fight or flight.
It’s a simplification but there we are, when it’s simplified. What I’m seeing a lot of people do is talk about how they don’t know how to be afraid.
The more complex version is to sit down and figure out what you’re afraid of
Is it men with guns? Is that likely in your life?
Is it the government encroaching on your liberties? Is that likely in your life?
Is it lack of control? Well, that’s likely in any life.
So when I say I wanted to talk about fear what I meant to say was this:
They’re selling us fear. It’s a fearful time in the world.
Learn to be afraid. Learn that it’s an emotion (and usually a very valid one) just like jealousy.
Sometimes it’s helpful. Sometimes not.
It’s okay to be scared.
What matters is what you do with that, and what you do next.
They are selling you on fear. Read any book, watch any documentary: your gut isn’t wrong. Shit is not good.
You have to work through the fear to act in the way you would like to be seen, by which I mean:
It takes some courage to fight past societal fear.
It takes boldness, when fear is what’s on offer, to refuse it.
And it takes so much energy; some people can’t maintain it and that’s fine, people burn out
But try to just…not, if you can.
I don’t mean don’t be afraid, that’s healthy
I mean don’t run with fear.
If you are wise
You’ll know that you’re human and that some days you can fight and some days you just need to watch shitty TV and eat comfort food and you’ll get back to it later
But fear is an emotion, not a base state.
Combat it with joy.
Combat fear with some rest and the fierceness you always have when someone is being mistreated.
Take a beat, take a day, take two days, and come back when you are more angry than afraid.
Fear is rational.
Anger, the righteous sort?
Now that’s where you sing.
And if your fear is immediate, if all of this is conceptual:
Honey we’re right here and we’re working out how best to help and my DM is open.
This is a long haul, but we can all help out in the meantime. That’s the whole point.
metaverde🐝 (@petramachemathe): @KillerMartinis I’ve been in two shootings in Seattle, pre-Covid, within the same year. So yes, men with guns has happened and most likely will again.
One was broad daylight. Waiting for the bus downtown after work. Woman next to me was shot out of her wheelchair.
The trauma is real.
@petramachemathe I mean I totally get that and I’d say that my general advice probably doesn’t apply to you!
Having been shot myself most of my general advice doesn’t apply to me either, so I hope you are well as you can be.